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madami akong natutunan ngayong araw na 'to.

first of all, it's friday tomorrow. i'm going home.




napansin ko lang, masakit masaktan. lalo na kapag ibinigay mo ang lahat. mahirap lumimot kung ang isang taong mahalaga sa'yo ay mas mahal mo kesa sa'yong sarili.

i used to believe in this as true. but now, i'm having second thoughts.
sacrificing for someone does not mean that one loves him more than oneself. it is only a way of showing the love, for there is no such thing as loving someone more than oneself.

and we cannot define what is beyond the love for oneself.


why do we cry when we get hurt? why do we smile when we are happy? it is because of our love for ourselves. a love that is the greatest of all. it causes all pain. all hurt. all bitterness. all wisdom. hurt. it causes all hurt.

nangako s'ya sa'kin, hindi ko alam ilang beses na. sabi n'ya sa huli kami din ang magkakatuluyan. pero walang nangyari. walang nangyayari. kung may mangyayari man, hindi ko na alam. nangako s'ya sa'kin. hindi ko malilimot ang mga salitang pinanghawakan ko. the words that kept me holding on for so long. his words, they were all that i have. they still are. and i'm not certain if i should keep on holding them close. he made a promise, after all.


promises are not made to be broken. if they are, why do they have to exist?


promises are made to be fulfilled.

obedience to one's promise was never meant to be easy. the vow to obedience is the most difficult thing to follow, yet the most rewarding. it is never easy. but no one said it has to be impossible.

kaya.. siguro.. hihigpitan ko na lang ang kapit ko, para sakaling mabitawan nya'ko, hindi magiging ganun kasakit ang pagbagsak.

e paano na kung tuluyan nang nawala?

we cannot really discern what we want in life unless we share it with someone.
and i hate that someone. but hate is love turned cold. too cold.

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masyado nang maingay ang mundo. hindi na natin marinig ang totoong gusto natin.

hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ako o malulungkot sa mga katotoohanang na-realize ko kanina. God will make you realize the life that you want to be. Diyos ko, matagal Mo nang pina-realize sa'kin 'yun e.. at yan din ang dahilan kaya hirap na hirap ako ngayon. ang mahirap pang parte diyan ay ang masakit na katotoohan na it is not a question of simply KNOWING what God wants us to do... it's a matter of DOING what He wants. it is not enough to discover our vocation in life. these things must be fulfilled.


"God calls me and sends me forth....."



Charisms are special talents and gifts freely given from God to us that they are so innate in us. We need to develop them. It is when we discover these that we discover our mission. the purpose.

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they say that Death is the greatest fulfilment in life. if you lived a good life.

that kind of life is one i'm not having.

matagal pa ba ang bukas?

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nagpapasalamat po ako ng buong puso sa propesor ko sa christian studies sa kamangha-manghang isipin at ideyang ginising nya sa akin: both in the philosophies of love and purpose.